Poetry Wednesday

Assemble

I assemble;

My thoughts, my ensemble, 

Carefully dressing in my armor.

Methodical, steady.

My portfolio completes the look;

Ready to jump in to the next job

The next stop on the line.

Making Peace

Making peace

At twilight 

The bird chirps dampened

She sits

Contemplating grace and the end

Realizing it's not up to her and others' yardsticks.

It's comforting 

But also hard to grasp;

The reconciliation between mind and heart

Will struggle making peace with it.

Catch up: Selections from the April Poem a Day challenge

He said she said

It'll be fine! We can get it done,

It won't cost much; 

It won't take long;

It's a great idea.

She replied, our budget is small-

It would be great;

But where will our budget come from?

Projects are always more than expected,

Take longer;

The things we do for the perfect house.

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Slowly I ease

Into my armor,

One sleeve then another

Girding myself for the backlash

Wrong hair wrong shirt

Wrong look

Then practice the mantra

I can do this

Preparing for the harsh light 

Of a Monday morning.

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Foolin

My grandma loved to play

Tricks on unsuspecting family;

Though the pine sol beach house

With no floors wasn't meant to be a joke.

We played with plastic poo,

And she laughed,

"Y'all quit foolin around!"

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Urban love

They sit on the metro,

Facing a businessman who

Is in his own world

Like they are.

Gazing eyes

Wandering hands

Stray giggles.

They are freshmen in

This town,

With a lot to lean about how

Relationships work in

The capital.

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Doodle

My hand unconsciously slides across

Paper, every time someone starts talking.

My black notebook is filled with

Random words in patterns

Ignoring the straight lines,

Reflecting my chaotic mind

When I'm puzzling out

The pieces of my life.

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Hide out

Shhh, don't crack the floor!

We are pretending to be 

Invisible, giggling loudly!

The blankets and pillows cover

Out stuffed animals, and us

While we negotiate our hideout in

Our imagination.

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Grateful

I am,

I swear-

When short bursts of silence come;

I sit, the quiet soothing my mind,

And contemplate an amazing life.

The trappings of success,

Or so they say.

But

In the moment,

When chaos spills out,

My list is a little too long,

I have to cater to everyone else,

When I forget to be grateful. 

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How silly to see

A half finished me

When all I want

Is quiet and whatnot.

Take it away

I did want to stay

In my skewed hibernation.

_____________________________________________________________________

In my limited experience

When the cracks start to show

That's when 

True intentions spill 

Over 

And reveal the passion

Behind the hello.

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Defensive

It's the best I can do,

But my mind is convinced

Other eyes and hearts are judging me.

The second guessing

The exhaustion

Feed a spiral

And I lash out.

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Last nerve

The second guessing

The backhanded compliments

The doubt;

Goodwill seeps out

On both sides,

Leaving us bitter 

Frustrated

Angry.

No respect from you

Means I am on

My last nerve. 

____________________________________________________________________________

Time out

My brain swirls

With lists and tidbits

Things I'm supposed to write down for posterity

With half finished thoughts

Meals....

Distracted by laundry

And housework

And family

Trying to fit in a workout

With meditation

Healthy snacks

Coloring pictures 

Meeting others' expectations.

Plus work!

Mommy needs a time out.

_____________________________________________________________________________

Outback

I remember When it was

The fanciest casual restaurant

We had;

The line spilled out of the door

Hour waits were the norm.

I went out with a boys' parents

And it was the most grown up I felt

At 16. 

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Vaunted pieces of paper stare back at me,

Assuring me I am overqualified 

And over stressed.

My office is quiet, but my daily stroll

Shows me the circus below,

And I am grateful to be off the 

Island, away from my comrades.

My computer dings with 

Reminders, 

Demands,

And doesn't give me a time to stop and think.

Information streams into my eyes

and out of my head,

And I am quizzed every time 

I see one of many bosses.

The office is a place

Where negotiations take place,

But no work can begin. 

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Uncool

Be cool, they say-

What is that?

Is it to rise above

The noise,

Believe in yourself

Or is it also

Making others feel bad?

In school,

I was respectful to all

And labeled 

Uncool.

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Star-struck

My daughter asked me

To draw stars on her paper.

I tried to teach her

Moving my hand slowly 

But she wouldn't try

Violently resisted.

Frustration-- why did she not try, at least?

Two days later,

Hurrying in to pick her up,

Her teacher asked, did you teach her

How to draw stars?

She said mommy did.

And I was filled with love-

I can teach her by example,

Even when she wont mimic back.

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Lost and found

One brief moment

From calm to panic--

I glance down at the insistent buzz,

And she flashes from here to gone.

I turn in panicked circles,

Not seeing her baby hair

Solid legs

Doll smile.

Dread overwhelms;

Then, out of a clothes rack

She pops out

Laughing at her game of chase

And I find my heart 

And my breath.

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The smell of sleep,

Slightly damp pillow cotton;

My head settles in just right.

I lift my feet up stretching my toes

My heels

To relax.

The eye pillow goes on

And I smell lavender through my dreams.

I drift off.

I love a good nights sleep.

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It's a talent

Running both ways

Managing life 

On the tip of a needle;

My brain goes everywhere

Spiderweb of thoughts

No rhyme or reason

Haphazard.

_______________________________________________________________________________

When I finally called it,

Walked away 

I saw something reflected back in my eyes;

Was it judgement?

Unrequited love?

Anger? Sadness?

I think the thing

Left unsaid

Was relief 

I finally broke away.

Response:

I thought I loved you

And fought to hang on;

But I didn't really

Just wanted to control

Look good

Mold you into what I thought.

When you broke away

I was empty,

Because the love I felt 

Had already gone before you did.

Playground Politics

Playground Politics

"It's nothing, mom,"

She mumbles, picking a scab

Making it bleed

So she can feel something other than sad.

I jump to annoyed,

Thinking she's just being

Petulant,

Difficult.

And then I hear her again--her hurting heart

Shattered in a million pieces

Learning too early 

Not everyone is kind.

I stoop to hug her,

To cuddle

To fill her up with love

While I want to stomp the kid that 

Stomped her heart.

It's nothing to most

But everything in her world.